My dearest little boy. Today my Squish is One.
How is it possible that you are one already? Why does the first year fly by so fast?! I wish babyhood lasted two years so I could just fully soak up every cute, quality baby-goodness moment.
Before I get into those moments. I just need to remember the goodness of God that I get to enjoy life with you. All morning I’ve been thinking about what I would feel or think about the moment when time stood still for forty minutes. When it would take an act of God, a quick acting, wise thinking midwife, and the right people praying and running things. Amazing that the testimony is this sweet boy who loves to laugh and brings so much joy to our lives. And today I get to say Happy Birthday my sweet, full-of-life Squish, who came into the world dramatically one year ago today at 1:35pm. Our perfectly healthy and alert miracle baby who arrived after the longest forty minutes to ever exist in my life. I feel humbled and in awe of God’s grace that this sweet boy found a way to come earth-side against every odd imaginable!! I know I am crazy blessed for every day we get with him, since for sure every day is a gift and not a guarantee.
Back to The Moments. The everyday moments I don’t want to forget.
Snuggling with you. Gosh I love snuggling with you. You have lived up to your Squish namesake in every way. You, by far, have been the baby that most loves to snuggle with me.
We started in the last month letting you stay in the church day care. So far, that has not been super effective. You miss us terribly and we often get paged to come give you love and comfort.
Snoring. Oh my gosh. It is just the cutest. Especially snoring after you have a late night snack. You fall asleep in my arms and breathe deeply and often snore.
The way you play so independently on your tree house or on the piano or really with whatever toy you can find.
Eating stuff. Every baby I know loves to put everything in their mouth that first year. I really think you do it above and beyond. Either that or now that there are so many littles in the house, it just is no longer “baby-proofed”, cause you find the funniest things to put in your mouth and hold in your mouth like a little chipmunk.
The way you long to be a part of whatever the Bigs are doing. More so in the last month that now you can walk, and we have the trampoline, but really from fairly early on you have been so interested in what they are doing and wanting to play along and be in their world with them.
Watching sweet Itty Bitty and the way she adores you, loves to push you in the stroller, loves to help change your diaper, loves to hold you and take pictures of you. Really it warms my heart so much that she has just watched the way I care for you and has tried to model it and implement that same mothering in her own way.
Your birthday party was so special. We did a breakfast and donuts theme cause I just wanted something easy, and intimate, surrounded by our friends who are like family to us. We continued the Dumbo theme with the birthday announcement (had to edit out the personal details of course 😉 )
We enjoyed a such a feast and you did too, including a smash cake just for you! The highlight was having your midwife who preserved your life ever so preciously, be able to share in your first birthday.
I wanted to do things in the Dumbo theme as much as possible. For some reason, elephants just was the reoccurring theme/gift for your first year and I wanted to extend that through your first birthday as much as possible. I love these pictures with you investigating your cake. Not 100% sure of it. Wanting to love it, but so cautious and not sure if you could really just dive in to it. One of those moments I’m glad I have on video. 🙂
And of course, I had to get a picture with the “toddler”, now that my Squish is One. I may be in denial. He can’t really be one yet, right?! 🙂 I am going to hold on to every baby hug, squish, squeeze and giggle I can get while I can.
My dear baby. I think you may be our last baby. The final one that I got to love and rock and nurse and pull all nighters and hold as a tender, little, small newborn. And I loved every day, every moment of it all. Every sleepless night. Every baby giggle. Every little cry that I got to soothe. The tiny baby laying next to me snuggling all night long. The squishy baby all wrapped up in my woven wrap. And now you are entering toddlerhood. How fun it will be to watch you come into your own, to watch you engage even more with the “Bigs”, to see who you will become this year, and the skills and the milestones you will hit. May you continue to pursue after Itty and Man-Cub and to desire to be in sweet harmony and fellowship with them. I pray that you will always love to give hugs and run with abandonment to see me. I can’t wait to hear your first word, watch you start feeding yourself, wave hello, and to see you jump and explore and be wild and free. I am praying you will grow into a godly man and I can’t wait to watch all the rest of your years unfold. I love you so much. Love, Mama
If you enjoyed reading this one, you may enjoy reading my letter to Itty Bitty when she turned 3.
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I remember so vividly how touch and go things were, how being over the other side of the world was the hardest thing in the world when you were so unsure as to if your baby would be ok. I desperately wanted to embrace you all and tell you God was in control. What a testament to God’s unwavering grace that little squish has reached this amazing milestone. Love to you all xx