Leah

I remember having a boring life. Every day was the same. Wake up. Stumble to find a cup of hot tea. Feed my people. Do a load of laundry. Feed the people again. Break up a battle. Feed the people again. Hold a baby. Step on a lego. Feed the people again. Change a diaper. Read a book with them. Feed the people again. And that was just before 10:30am most days. And now? The life of our Little Peanut, Leah, has brought us somewhere new and different. Somehow we are "that family". The one that needs all hands on deck. I don't even know when we turned into that, but here we are. I mean I thought we were mildly doing okay, but then one of my best friends typed out my story for a blog and I don't know.…

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Waiting on Open Heart Surgery

It is still surreal on every level that I just typed that out. That having open heart surgery (OHS) is part of our story. And really since the beginning of our road with our Little Peanut, her heart has probably been the biggest thing I have prayed about, and the deciding factor in so many conversations. Way back at 12 weeks pregnant (nearly 11 months ago now), one of the reasons her doc thought she would not be viable was because of the condition of her heart. In utero. That blows my mind still to this day, thinking of how small it must have been back then. And all throughout pregnancy, we were always watching her heart, monitoring it, praying it would be able to keep up with all the changes her body was doing as it was growing until birth,…

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The Road Less Traveled

Two roads diverged in a wood, and I - I took the one less traveled by, And that has made all the difference.                         Robert Frost This isn't a road I would wish on any family. Most days I wish we weren't walking it ourselves. As a result, I want to complain and argue and scream, "This isn't Fair.". And you know what?! It's truly not fair. It's just not. And like I tell my Man-Cub....a Fair is a park with rides and attractions and games. That's not life. Life is messy and murky and sad and hard and shows us just how much we all need Jesus. If life was fair and every mama that wanted a beautiful, healthy baby got one miraculously without thought, what would that teach…

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A Second Opinion and a LONG Week

Monday afternoon I called my midwife to let her know about the appointment and she quickly encouraged me to not despair before a second opinion happened. She went about contacting a MFM she works with to get me seen immediately. The past 24 hours had been one of crying, sadness, loss, grief. These words do not even began to encompass the weight and enormity of the news we had been given. I knew immediately I would stand for life, but didn't make this any easier to process. Tuesday afternoon I went in to have this doctor do a Sono and eval. It is so sorrowful to walk around knowing I'm carrying life but that it is a life that has a terminal date. Dr. Rainbows and Sunshine was hopeful and cheerful from first meeting, and immediately I felt like she was…

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