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Read more about the article Reflections on Pregnancy

Reflections on Pregnancy

In college my senior thesis compared Latin American politics to soccer. The parallels were obvious to me. I've often been asked to sum up what this pregnancy is comparable to and often times I struggled to find the parallel. There is no comparison. It is its own thing. To find language to describe it didn't exist in my head until today. In complete stream of consciousness, here are the reflections on my pregnancy. Reflections of a roller coaster ride. The ride is coming to an end. I can see the station where we disembark. You know that moment when the ride is ending and the brakes are hit just before you enter back into the station. It's nearly whip lash. You are well aware the ride is nearly over. Oh sure. A new track awaits and is just around the corner…

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Read more about the article 20 Weeks

20 Weeks

Oct 14 marked 20 Weeks and the week of All The Appointments. It is thrilling to be halfway, and to realize my God is bigger than any doctor or diagnosis. Remember the first MFM, Dr. Doom and Gloom? He said we'd never make it to 20 weeks and here we are - our daughter is still alive! The appointment with the Cardiologist and the fetal echo revealed that our daughter does have a congenital heart defect - a VSD - a hole in her heart. There are lots of possible outcomes for this; from hole can close on its own to if it doesn't close Peanut could need anything from a cardiac catheter to open heart surgery after birth to help it close.... Just depending on severity. So lots of unknowns, and lots of appointments to come to monitor and keep…

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Read more about the article The Best Gender Reveal

The Best Gender Reveal

Once upon a time there was this family, and they were bestowed the most upside-down pregnancy one could have. Not willing to be upstaged in any way, the Gender Reveal had to continue the ride they have been on. The first of October will not be a day we will soon forget. The weekend began normal; hunt down big black balloons that would hold confetti for our kiddos to pop and reveal gender. Apparently, that's super hard to come by! It took visiting 3 different stores to score these balloons. And with our photographer and videographer, and intimate family friends we were ready to go. For your viewing pleasure I present..... Meanwhile, one of my best friends was making this face during the whole reveal. And I knew something was up. This was her face: Me: uh.....Is this what gender you…

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An Overdue Update

So life just keeps on going, going, going; and sadly I am do for an overdue update. Last Thursday (Sept 21 – 2 days shy of 17 weeks), at the prompting of my friend, I met with her highly recommended MFM. He shall be called Dr. Wonderful. This man has the best bedside manner EVER. He is gentle, compassionate, pro-life, loves Jesus, and is not going to be bound by time in any way. My appointment with him was LONG and amazing and such a comfort. I got to watch my baby move and thrive along with one of my dearest friends. We sat there and watched my Little Peanut wiggle and turn around and have a great heartbeat. At 16 weeks Nuchal Translucency is no longer visible so they now measure the Nuchal Fold. Little Peanut had an abnormal thick…

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A Second Opinion and a LONG Week

Monday afternoon I called my midwife to let her know about the appointment and she quickly encouraged me to not despair before a second opinion happened. She went about contacting a MFM she works with to get me seen immediately. The past 24 hours had been one of crying, sadness, loss, grief. These words do not even began to encompass the weight and enormity of the news we had been given. I knew immediately I would stand for life, but didn't make this any easier to process. Tuesday afternoon I went in to have this doctor do a Sono and eval. It is so sorrowful to walk around knowing I'm carrying life but that it is a life that has a terminal date. Dr. Rainbows and Sunshine was hopeful and cheerful from first meeting, and immediately I felt like she was…

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BEFORE & AFTER

August 28th. A Monday. An ordinary normal day that should have been a day of excitement and fun and just another milestone in our fourth pregnancy. Instead it has become the day where life changed forever. There is just now everything before that moment and everything since. So many people say life will never be the same after whatever xyz and now I realize how flippantly well-meaning people say this. I know differently. Life changed in that moment. Everything after has become our "new normal". I've always heard in crisis your senses are heightened. The day was partly cloudy and relatively cool for a late summer in Dallas, Texas. So cool to my body was the air, that I actually put on a pair of leggings to head to my appointment. It felt like a great Monday. I was running a…

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